The Life of Michael Songero

The Return is coming

2007-07-01T21:39:00.001-06:00

I've been away for almost 2 months, a lot has happened, but I'm coming back. The changes will be coming soon.

THE LIST

2007-05-03T12:40:00.000-06:00

To inspire creativity, create more writing prompts for next year, and as extra credit, I had my students create a list of 100 things they want to do before they die. In return, the students started bugging me about my own list. So I thought it would be a good idea to throw it up on here too. I can't show the crossed out ones, but here's the original list, created about 8-10 years ago, I can't remember....

1. MOVE OUT OF NEW JERSEY
2. write a novel
3. see all seven continents
4. have a professional career in teaching
5. own my own Ducati motorcycle
6. MOVE TO AND LIVE IN COLORADO
7. get my master's degree
8. kiss a girl while skydiving
9. play tennis competitively again
10. become a published author
11. have someone ask and sign an autograph
12. learn a martial art
13. drive a motorcycle down the Auto Bahn
14. work at the Taj Mahal in Atlantic City
15. ski 50 days in a single ske season
16. own and rebuild a Triumph motorcycle
17. invent my own ice cream flavor
18. ride a motorcycle across the country
19. drink an entire bottle of Hershey's chocolate syrup
20. stow away on a ship to South America
21. get a degree from a top ten school in the world
22. visit the seven wonders of the world
23. win a poker tournament in Vegas
24. not break more than 10 bones
25. be able to test drive a Ferrari because I'm "Dr. Songero"
26. join the circus and travel with them
27. ski in every continent
28. complete a triathlon
29. ride on 50 different roller coasters
30.learn to play a musical instrument
31. ski in every state on the east coast
32. spend a night in the Hong Kong gambling underworld
33. date a stripper and convince her to quit her job for me
34. create a hysterical drunken toast at a wedding
35. spend an entire summer in Sicily
36. try over 100 types of beer
37. learn to salsa dance
38. actually hit with a tennis pro on court
39. steal a giant trail map from a ski resort
40. write and publish a play
41. fly a plane
42. work for a newspaper
43. take boxing lessons
44. do the Running of the Bulls in Spain
45. skip church for over 10 years
46. see Les Miserables on Broadway
47. have dinner with a celebrity
48. own an exotic pet
49. get a PhD and teach in a university
50. sell my novel to a major publishing house
51. kiss a girl while riding the gondola throughout Venice
52. have a job as a department chair
53. swing dance really well
54. ski from one country to another
55. see Metallica live five times
56. design a nationally televised TV commercial
57. cook my mother's lasagna or veal cordon bleu for a date
58. take a class at the Sorbonne
59. win a case against a cop for a speeding ticket
60. go to all four grand slam tennis tournaments live
61. take a mobster's money in a poker game and give it to charity
62. eat grits
63. learn and speak the Romantic languages
64. learn how to play golf
65. own an original Dali portrait
66. have Beluga caviar and Havana cigars displayed in my own office
67. run a 6 minute mile
68. drink vodka in Russia
69. scuba dive in the Aegean Sea
70. spend a night in jail
71. buy and listen to an entire country music CD
72. see all 50 states
73. fill up an entire refrigerator with chocolate milk and nothing else
74. live in Japan for only 6 months to a year
75. develop an addictive habit and break it
76. live in Italy for a few years
77. get an autograph from Patrick Ewing and John Starks
78. take a tour of the White House
79. own a sphinx cat
80. take a multi-day hike in the highlands of Scotland
81. go bungi jumping off of a bridge
82. try and eat 50 doughnuts in one sitting
83. go scuba diving and swin with sand sharks
84. go on a safari riding an exotic animal
85. perform stand-up in front of a live audience
86. shoot a gun
87. collect enough Joe Camel dollars from smokers to get something for free
88. live in Paris for a few years
89. visit Bruce Lee's grave in Seattle
90. have my parents come to me for help with writing
91. become handy around the house
92. learn to eat and enjoy seafood
93. learn to eat spicy food
94. tour Iran and buy Persian art
95. get in a fight and beat up the kid that bullied me in school
96. date a stewardress
97. own both a Ducati and BMW motorcycle and alternate days riding them
98. sing in public on a holiday or special occasion
99. go camping
100. be able to complete and start another list of 100 things to do

Ends, beginnings, and having Faith

2007-05-01T08:30:00.000-06:00

No question about it, this was one of the best skiing seasons ever. I'm skiing the bumps better than I ever have in my life. But as I thought about going up this weekend, I realized that ski season is over. As much as I didn't want it to be, it's time to accept the fact that ski season is over. Great year, and next year will hopefully be even better, but time to move on.

On the other hand, my greatest hope is that tennis season is just beginning and will actually last this time around. Tennis is what I love the most. No matter what activity I do, absolutely nothing relaxes me more than tennis. It's hard to explain, but I can focus far more when I'm hitting-- the rest of the world goes away and it's relaxing more than anything else. My only concern is my health, time after time after time, I get hurt and it keeps me away from the game. But this time I'm holding out for faith, faith that if I go slowly I'll be back to playing competively again. It's not about winning (although more trophies would be nice), it's about being in a tough match. Win or lose, it's about being in those situations because that's what's relaxing to me.

Speaking of Faith, I hope things continue to stay well with her. The hardest part of getting to know someone is when two people can only catch each other passing by. Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining, it's rare to find someone as focused and independent as I am. But she's definitely someone that's making me take time out of my life to get to know. As you've read, my life is full of people that are full of shit, don't care about anything, or act and speak based on their own agenda. With Faith, I've never met a more honest person, someone who would never hurt another. For me, it's a great change, I can spend time with her and never have to worry about anything. It's great to trust someone, and it's great to be happy. And I believe she does feel the same. It's worth writing about-- especially when you never get that chance. When you do, hang on to it, it doesn't happen very often.

So this summer has tons of potential. There may be a new job out there for me, I plan on writing my second book, and I'll have to see what happens from there....

In need of real Italian food!

2007-04-25T13:15:00.000-06:00

Don't get me wrong, I love living out in Colorado, but one of the biggest drawbacks is that the Italian food out here sucks. Most people out here seem to think that Maggiano's or the Olive Garden is authentic Italian, when a better comparison would be that those two places are the McDonald's of Italian. I do know about Carmine's, which is very good, but otherwise I'm SOL on that. So I'm asking my readers, if you know anyplace, let me know. I'm craving some veal parmesean, scallopini-- a place where they serve romano with you food instead of shakable grated parmasean. It's definitely not like the food I grew up on!

Good news?

2007-04-18T15:22:00.000-06:00

I found out last night that my contract has been renewed. However, I'm not really sure how I feel about it. There have been comments about my distance (physical and otherwise) and that it's becoming a problem. My problem with that is that it's not job-related in any way. I like my distance because I really don't like the people I work with. This is my job: I come, I do my very best and work my very hardest, I leave. It's that simple. I'll never be a part of this community.

So now I'm really thinking about quite a bit. Should I renew my contract here? I don't like to quit something I've started, but as my readers know, I don't like it here. So my options right now are to stay, to find a surrounding school, to go teach high school in the city, to go back to the adjunct thing, or just to get the hell out of teaching for a while. Wouldn't it be nice to rely on my writing for once?

One thing that I'm sure about is that I want my PhD. I plan on going to Stanford, and I want my PhD from there. That's the plan for 2008-2009. So, I'm actually asking for feedback for once. Readers, what do you think? Any advice for this next year? Is this place worth coming back to?

The plate is getting pretty full....

2007-04-12T10:37:00.000-06:00

This month, along with the end of November, are the worst times of the year for me. The work just piles up, and like a light bulb blazing on, everyone decides they want to do better in school. So here's all the jumble that's going on in my mind. I'm building the brand new English program almost completely from scratch without any help. I have stacks and stacks of papers that I need to give direction to my students on. I also have to complete all my license material, something I haven't really taken seriously all year. I still don't take care about it, because I don't plan on staying in a high school very long. On the other hand, I'm still rushing to cover my curriculum in my college class at ACC, a class that has yet to impress me overall. I'm putting in 12-15 hr. days and I'm exhausted. This has left me very little to spend at the gym or for my writing. The new book, Lost in Tumbleweed, is stalled probably until the summer when I get more time. I've been reading like crazy to complete as much material as I can for the first year exams at Stanford. And I'm studying for the GRE to get my scores up. I'm also working on three academic essays, a personal essay, and other writing projects. Socially, I've hardly seen many of my friends over the last few weeks. I'm kind of bummed that ski season is over. I've met a very special someone in my life that I'm not sure what to do about. More than anything, I value her friendship, and will not sacrifice that for anything. But that's a whole other story.

That's just what's on my plate, though. As busy as I am, things aren't all that bad. School is over in less than a month. As crazy as it seems, things are slowly turning the corner at the school. I actually believe that I can solve the problems here, or a number of them. I'm writing more, and I've been patient with the above mentioned person, and I think she feels the same as I do. More than anything else, what I need right now is rest: plain and simple. When I can, I will....

Good Friday has became great!

2007-04-05T16:11:00.000-06:00

It's very simple, I don't have to work tomorrow. In the meanwhile, I'm sitting in on a budget meeting where I raised more than half of the money. This ought to be good since I already know what I'm planning on doing with my money. If you read this soon and have any advice for handling these people without ridiculing them, let me know. Otherwise, I've got to sign off for the time being. Hopefully, I can come back to this later. Maybe, I'll have time to ski instead....that sounds good!

Justifying a Decision

2007-04-04T13:46:00.000-06:00

I always get in this position right before I end up changing my life in a complicated way. The problem is always the same, I end up wanting more or wanting to do more than what my life consists of at the moment. Once that moment hits, it's like rolling downhill. I take steps, I take measures, and before even I know it, I'm gone-- relocated to a whole new place where I start my life in a new direction.

This time it feels different, though. For years and years, all I ever talked about was picking up and leaving the East Coast. The destination was always clear, Colorado. No matter what, I would always end up having a life in Colorado. Now I want to leave again. With very few exceptions, I'm bored and disappointed with most of my friends. Don't get me wrong, that's not being negative, it's just that I'm looking for other things to do.

Profesionally, as I've stated, life couldn't get much worse. The real problem is that I don't enjoy my job at all. I don't look forward to seeing the kids, I don't belong in a high school setting. And, this, more than anything else, is what's making me shoot for that doctorate and a new life. Ok, I've got to drop it there, I don't want to go down that tangent anymore.

For some reason, though, the decision is harder than I thought. I like all of my friends here. I hate dropping things before they're finished. Even as much as I despise my job, I hate leaving before I fixed it. It leaves a bad taste in my mouth. So here I am, sure but not sure. Of course, I have to wait another year to see if I'm accepted to Stanford, but I'm wondering is this what I really want?

Getting back into the publishing groove

2007-03-29T11:56:00.000-06:00

I've been thinking about a new publishing format. I'm going to see-saw my fiction with some academic writing. One story, followed by an academic subject. So, the story first. The new book, LOST IN TUMBLEWEED, is starting to map itself out neatly and smoothly in my mind. I'm about 3/4 of the way finished with the back story of the main character. To test it out, I think what I'm going to do next is nutshell a lot of that backstory and turn it into a short story. From there, I might send it out to one of those novice publications that provides feeback. Along with that, I need to also send it out for some contests. As for the first academic article, I'm flirting with writing about either blogs, or something about purpose and audience. At this point, I'm unsure.

Never thought I'd say this, but I'm getting antsy and impatient here in Colorado. California is calling to me in more ways than one, and that's next on the agenda, followed hopefully by a PhD, and maybe a couple of years in Europe. Maybe all of this is just random talk, I don't know, but I'll see over time. I think a lot of this has been my environment lately. As I'm continuously surrounded by unmotivated people and I feel that little rub of apathy, I get frustrated and alarmed at the same time. No chance in hell I'd ever let that happen to me, so I take as many as steps as possible to separate myself from them. Wish me luck!

Tempting Fate

2007-03-28T11:43:00.000-06:00

Things are getting worse at the current job. The hardest part of my job, without any question, is teaching to the completely unmotivated. It's not just my class, either; as I walk the halls, I see that glazed dull look of the students' faces. And it's not from a lack of challenge primarily, it's from having to do work. This is the problem with my college satellite classes. They're not really college classes, they're high school kids, not yet ready for college classes. So I have to find some kind of middle ground that actually teaches. It's baby step after baby step, something I get sick of explaining when outside observers decide to "drop by."

Anyway, I've got to stop. Like I said, I'm going to start focusing on my own future, the rules be damned. I've tried to play by the schools' practices, but they've failed. Starting now, I'm calling all the shots for what I do. I have my own plans for the future, so I've got to cram as quickly as possible if I'm going to fix this place before I go. My main observation is that it's getting harder, but simultaneously clearer that it's time for me to start leading the way. The other departments can either get aboard the train or stay drop back and fail.

The Road Begins

2007-03-27T21:31:00.000-06:00

So, I've talked about the plan, Stanford University. This is going to be a long hard road, one that's going to take up the next year of my life. Stanford is considered to be the best and the competition is intense. Out of about 350 applications, they only accept 10 student per year into that program. And so here is where the road begins: it's time for me to be that package: the best damn package out there. There's a lot of GRE studying and a lot of writing ahead of me.

The road to a better life doesn't live and die with Stanford and with my professional life, though. Right now my body is in extreme pain. But it's the good kind of pain, the pain that comes from every muscle in your body screaming at you after a long hard workout. This goal is going to take a lot of hard months in front of me as well. I have to rebuild and strengthen all the muscles in my back, along with my stomach, to get that back strong again. Two years ago, I brought tennis back into my life-- now it's time to do so again. There's a feeling of relaxation out on that tennis court that I've yet to find in any other activity, skiing included. Tennis is my physical meditation. Losing it once changed my life completely, losing it twice left just as big a void. So, the road widens, more obstacles are set in place, but I'm enjoying the ride.

Epiphany and dedication

2007-03-26T21:52:00.000-06:00

The need for change has been building like a fire inside of me, and I'm understanding why now I think. Let me put it simply: I'm fucking bored with my life. Things are becoming a routine. I've always loved impossible, unwinnable situations, that I usually end up winning. So, instead of griping about it, I've decided to do something about it. I unofficially put my notice in today at my job, it's time to move forward and beyond it. So what's next? I've decided to go and get my PhD from Stanford, yes that's right, Stanford. Mikey is planning a move to Californ-i-a in the future. I want to go to an elite school, not a school, but one of the best. I'm seeking the next challenge. Step one is getting accepted into Stanford: not exactly an easy task. But what's the worse that can happen, rejection? Rejection is good for the soul, it allows a person to really look at him/herself and think about the next step in life. And this is what I want right now. Tomorrow I go back to work, and I'm not looking forward to it. I truly hate being there, despite all the potential challenges building an English program offers. So bring on Stanford. What do you think readers? Have I gone off my rocker completely, or is this the new chapter to Michael Songero's story? Let me know.

Now, this next part is dedicated to that special someone in my life. We had a long talk today, we learned a great deal more about each other, and that's important. I'm talking to you specifically here. Life is about balance: think of it in the Japanese In and Yo spirits. I know things are hard for you right now. But every single day, you should take time to put things in perspective. Here are some facts that you should keep in mind. First things first, you have a loving family. It's remarkable that you work so hard to unite them, but you will over time. Anyway, they love you and you love them. So many people take this for granted, and you should always remember that love is unbreakable and lasts forever. Secondly, you're an incredibly beautiful person: on both the inside and the outside. Don't ever tell yourself otherwise-- and please don't doubt me. I was shocked to hear you say otherwise Saturday night, and I'm flat out telling you that you're wrong. Next, you told me you feel like you have nothing to offer someone else. Again, you're wrong. Everyone, with absolutely no exception, fails to see what they do have to offer when they feel down. You want a specific example? Here it is: me. Since we've known each other, we've made each other feel much happier. There doesn't need to be reasons-- it's just truth.

While I dedicate this to that special someone, I encourage all my readers to think about this. Life is balance: good and bad, and when you take it all in it's absolutely exciting each and every day.

Starting a new life

2007-03-25T20:12:00.000-06:00

I was writing a letter of recommendation for a very special person today, and I was surprised by the feelings it brought up in me. Mostly, this was because I used past letters written about me as a guideline for creating a strong letter. I started looking at myself then and now and obviously there are things that I like and that I don't like, same as everyone. But I've decided to make some very strong, very bold changes in my professional life for the future. I want more, and I want to be more. I'm going to hold back on the specifics for now, mostly because there's a lot of exploring to be done. But I felt it strongly inside of me, some major changes are going to be coming in my life over the next few months, and NOW is the time to get that ball rolling. To be continued....

Out for a few days.....

2007-03-22T07:43:00.000-06:00

My cousin from Staten Island has arrived to visit and to do some skiing. Skis got lost and haven't arrived yet, but we're trying to keep our spirits up. We're heading up to the mountains anyway: time for some skiing and for some fun. So I won't be updating for a few days. But I will plug a couple of people: bettylou and merlicious: one of the nicest, but funniest damn families I've ever met. Merlicious works hard to justify living by a list, and bettylou is doing well with coming out of her shy shell. Readers read their blogs-- it's good times. See you all in a few days.

My moustache.....

2007-03-21T00:17:00.000-06:00

Not since Dumb & Dumber have I laughed as hard as I did watching Borat, in fact I have to pause from time to time here because I'm still laughing my ass off. The part where he starts singing the national anthem at the rodeo is definitely the best. If you haven't, go rent or just buy Borat.

Tomorrow is the Persian New Year. Actually, that information might not be 100% correct, I do know that Persians celebrate the new year for 13 days. I'm amazed how it brings out such a sense of cultural community with those that I know who celebrate it. There's oodles that I don't know about the Persian culture that I've decide to learn about. One very special person in my life has been doing so with great care and patience....

The Evil Doctor's book should be out this month. I'm thinking about buying a bunch of copies, for no other reason than to just pour them all over the offices of people that need to read them. Blogging is important, for more than just my random thoughts and the random thoughts of others I see out there. But I promise you all I won't be jumping back on my educational soapbox for the rest of the week at least!

Tomorrow I pick up my cousin who's spending a few days out here, who I'm hoping gets to meet my the woman I've been talking about constantly on here, the one who I'm not sure is reading this blog or not. Anyway, I think Larry is going to help me cap off this ski season which has been absolutely incredible. I'm skiing much stronger now than I have in years, and hope I get the opportunity to do so. The good news also came from Merlicious. Even if I move to CA, Lake Tahoe won't be too far away: but it's way too early still to be talking about that possiblilty. I've got enough on my own plate right now....

Getting back to the blog

2007-03-18T23:38:00.000-06:00

Restless night, can't seem to make my eyes close. Plus, I've neglected my blog for far too long. As much as I've been in love with Colorado, the signs in my life are now indicating California very strongly for me. Let's get the obvious out of the way first, a job opportunity has come along that I simply can't ignore. If I get this teaching gig, I'm moving and leaving Colorado behind. My career has plateaued and I'm beginning to get bored with the routine I've noticed myself falling into.

On the other hand, there's another important reason I may be going. I've met someone, someone so incredibly special that I'm in a whirlwind of emotion. There's absolutely no doubt about it, she's the girl anyone would dream of having: stunningly beautiful, intelligent, ambitious, honest, and incredibly kind. But our relationship is complex, and on the surface may even seem problematic. However, she is amazing. Instead of letting things get overly complicated, and even to the point of falling apart, she sat me down and we talked through everything. Everything that I had to say was said for me, she was thinking and speaking every thought that was going through my mind.

So on a personal level, things could absolutely not be any better. I've met someone that I'm going to build something with slowly, piece by piece, one day at a time. I've met someone that I truly know that I can trust. But I do have my fears: mainly my professional life. My professional life is a slowly building train wreck-- one disaster after the next, the kind that threatens to spill over into my personal time. I'm fighting like crazy to prevent that: skiing, time with friends, etc., but this time of year is just pressure, pressure, and more pressure. I've moved before, and I've let my career overshadow everything else: it has been my driving force. But not this time: I've reached that point in my life where my personal life needs to be protected. Those that I care about will not have be stepping in my career messes. And this time I will not make the same mistakes and poor choices I made before.... Cryptic I know, but it's a long story that I don't have the time to tell this evening.

FRIENDS

2007-02-25T23:36:00.000-07:00

Just got back from a great Oscar party, and I've got to say that life never gets better than a night out with 10-20 of your good friends. No matter what's going on in my life, I'll never take this part for granted again. When I came out here 3 1/2 yrs. ago, I was in search of that. My friends consisted of wiseguys, wannabe wiseguys, people involved in crime, and otherwise trashy people. Now,ALL of my friends, without exception are incredibly, intelligent people, all gifted in their respective fields. I can have great conversations with them on a variety of subjects; and better still, they make me a better person. Here's to all of my close friends out there, thanks for becoming my new family!
Can't try it out just now because it's late and I'm tired, but I want to sound off ideas for the new book in here soon. As much as I thought I wanted to phase the Mafia stuff out of my writing, I have an idea for keeping it in, just as a side section. But the itch is there, I'm feeling the need to do some serious writing soon. There's no way I can cure that itch, so it's time to get beyond the hump of a first novel that really isn't all that great.
Otherwise, life is going pretty well. Of course, like all, I'd rather have more money and more time for skiing, but who wouldn't? The job is starting to get better, and I'm just feeling pretty good. Definitely a good spot to leave off on....

Mike is back!

2007-02-20T09:13:00.000-07:00

Well folks, it's been awhile. There's been some tough times. Went through a very nasty bit of the flu, preceeded by an emotional low point with my job, but now I'm back.

So where to start. Let's get the negative out of the way first. I truly and deeply hate my job: I spent so much time trying to become the teacher I've always wanted to be: creative, idealistic, and someone that my students would respect. Yet I've been stuck in a place that isn't really a school: it's a YMCA with a few attempts at class. But wait, I will not turn this into bitch fest. Here's the deal: things suck, but I've never quit or given up anything that I work at. I will turn this school around: I will make things work, until I burst: that's that.

Otherwise, I've recently interviewed in California: potential good opportunity with a lot more money. Puts me in a tough spot, mostly because I'm still in love with Colorado. But that's a separate entry and I don't want to think about it without becoming obsessed.

Have to be quick now to get back to work. The skiing has been great lately, my buddy James and I skiied so hard this weekend that I'm still somewhat sore a couple days later. The romance side of life has taken a wacky turn, and now I'm in about as weird a situation as possible right now. This new girl is an absolute keeper, but it's going to take a long time to make this work, and I really have to watch my ass on this one. Sorry so mysterious, but even on a blog, I'm not ready to talk about this one yet. Will continue soon, it's good to be back!

WILL BE BACK!

2007-02-06T11:17:00.003-07:00

Sick, grouchy, and congested. I'm sure you all know the feeling: the one where you'd pay someone to drill a hole in your head to let the pressure go. Lots more to say later, and I will be back with a new look soon....

WILL BE BACK!

2007-02-06T11:17:00.002-07:00

WILL BE BACK!

2007-02-06T11:17:00.001-07:00

Card Tips 102

2007-01-29T20:09:00.000-07:00

This one isn't necessarily poker related. It's more for spades, hearts, any game when you have trump. When you get your cards, don't bother looking at them until last. Instead, watch the players and what they do with their cards. Especially with trump, most players will shuffle all their good cards to one side. If someone moves more than one card at once, they're arranging them by suit. Usually, they'll shuffle from left to right. One card moved left in the middle of the bridge is most likely an Ace or high card of off suit. As for your own cards, arrange them sporadically. You'll know the good ones and it'll throw your opponents off.

Had some adjusting to do myself today. The morning started with a glimpse into hell. I was forced to attend a professional developmental seminar on creative thinking and creative curricular planning. The best part was that the lecture was given in Power Point! I don't think anyone else saw the irony....

On the other hand, my students created their blogs today. I swear-- I will do what I have to do and more, but this project is going to work! I'm excited for them: these students show lots of promise!

Definitely on the outs with the ELL: it's just a bad match and I've lost interest. The streak hasn't been too great lately. I've got to vault over the 3 week "relationship." I've been warned that I'm expecting too much, but I don't think about that stuff. Whatever happens the next day, happens.

A larger experiment

2007-01-26T11:11:00.000-07:00

So far, so good with the blog. Hectic week thus far, even by my standards, so I've been a little slack. Now, though, I have to get things ready for this week coming up. As long as I've been teaching, I've had a lot of difficulty getting my students to do the quality work in their journals. So now, I think I'm going to scrap the journaling and replace it with blogging. The blog is so much more than an assignment turned in to me. Most of the people that I know who have blogs, check them constantly-- curious to see who and how they responded to the blog. I'm anticipating a lot of bugs and mistakes in this experiment, but I think it's going to work out. Imagine twenty new blogs created at once with a guarantee that there will be posts.

Here's the tricky part, though. How much free reign do I give them? Free reign is a tough concept for me, the new high school teacher. I've had to be more careful about it than ever this year, but this is a college class. These are adults so I think they should be given free reign as far as their content. I want their blogs to be real, not something that looks and sounds forced. At the same time, I do have to guide a bit. My plan is to post a question each Monday class. They'll be required to address that question in their blogs. From there, I have to start small and build. I plan on having them post once a week on any topic of their own choosing, and have them respond to at least one blog.

My biggest fear is attacks, so I have to nip that before it even starts. I don't think that's going to happen, though, I've always respected my college students and their conduct. For high school students, I have a lot of doubts, but I'll tackle that next year. My boss is concerned about students that aren't too techno savy, but I think the time spent in class on them will help loosen them up. Students can't possibly be worse than me as I was starting. So cross your fingers, and hope the trial run works.

Not looking forward to the next week, since there won't be anytime to ski. Have to go to my license class (and that's an entire post waiting to happen) on Saturday, have Sunday off, then Monday I have to go back to BOCES and teach. Although what school I have next week will be interesting. There are many times when teaching at a high school feels like working at the YMCA. We do the occasional learning in between sports and other priority activities such as spending 3 days on taking pictures. The more time I spend at this place, the more I realize I belong back on the college level rather than the high school level.

Be warned readers, tomorrow might be an angry rant after going to that stupid class.

Moving possibilities!

2007-01-22T23:07:00.000-07:00

Never heard of the place: American River College, but off of a tip, I applied there, and it looks I'll be going to California next month. I don't know much about Sacramento, other than its home to the Kings. But the job sounds pretty sweet. Full-time position, student assigned to do my grading, and I'd be planning policy. I'm shocked still and not really sure what to think. I don't really like where I work now: I don't feel connected to these people; and in reality, I know I'm not a high school teacher.

Yet at the same time, I don't like quitting and just leaving. It makes me feel like I'm just dropping the tools and passing the buck. BUT, I don't believe the people I work with have a clue as to what they're doing. Honestly, I really don't think they know.

And I have to face it, I don't really want to leave Colorado. Sure, I'm nomadic by nature, but I do like it here. Weather wise, I love to ski. The snow has been a pain in the ass for commuting lately, but it's snow: it comes down and it melts. I also like to shovel snow at night: it's hard work, but quiet and relaxing. It's also metaphorical. If I shovel the snow, a path is cleared: I'm doing the work. I don't have to depend on anyone. The city plow just plows me in and gets in my way, almost exactly like educational politics.

But I need to think about this over the next few weeks. This job would also pay for me to get my PhD, something I know that I really need. New Jersey resident in California, though, I don't know. It could be interesting....but now I need to pretend to sleep so I'll try not to think about it....

Facing Juxtaposition

2007-01-21T22:24:00.000-07:00

The other day I was skiing some pretty steep chutes: ones that you have to jump to get into. It's the most relaxing feeling in the world when you're facing down something that could cause you major bodily harm, yet you know you're going to conquer it. As I made a very tough jump turn and stuck it, I remember thinking to myself, why is this so different from when I'm teaching?

I go back to a story I alluded to in my first post. Throughout college and even into my first grad. school, I had a wild side that was likely to have me killed or in serious trouble. Hours before class, my friends and I tied bungee cords to a bridge and jumped off, just to see what it would be like. I played poker with mobsters, dated strippers, endangered many lives (including my own) on my Suzuki Bandit. Two buddies and I took a weekend trip to Vermont with no plans or no place to stay. His jeep, with about 200,000 miles on it broke down in the middle of nowhere. I remember starting a fire in the woods to keep warm. Before I went to grad. school full-time, I almost joined the damn circus!

The thing is, though, I like those personalities about myself. The wild side deep down inside ourselves keeps life fresh and exciting. When I committed myself to grad. school, I took that intensity with me. I still broke all the rules, and I'd still argue with even my mentor to this day that's how I survived and excelled. I liked being looked at in terms of incredulous respect. Here was the guy with a major concussion and a shattered collar bone that could hold a discussion of rhetorical discourse with anyone.

The other day, the ELL (the girl I've held an interest in) said she found me attractive because she liked how smart I was. Yeah, I know, take the compliment and shut up. But deep down, it's bothered me a lot. Does it mean I've lost my edge in the world? Have I become so consumed with my teaching that I've lost the need to feel physical danger and harm? Granted, you do as much damage to your body as I have by my age, you're definitely more reluctant. But as I was skiing, I realized I miss this part of myself.

This is also a part of myself that I'd like my students to see more of. Yes, it's high school. Yes, I'm a cultural foreigner there. Yes, I have a lot of responsibility. But when I tell them that they do have to take the hat off, or the lesson plan skill is something they need in the world, I feel like such a stiff. I feel very much like the teachers I despised and promised myself I'd never feel like. So what's been on my mind is how do I blend all of this together? They're high school kids-- too young for them to see my side of everything. And it's not about me appearing "cool" to them. That never happens: they either respect you or don't. Instead, I want them to see how living that kind of risky lifestyle, however it's internalized, is what made me the teacher I am today.

And that's what I'm looking for in life lately: that need to feel so alive again. I could do without the pain, but every time that I got hurt was WELL worth it. So how does one handle this juxtaposition in a high school? Any thoughts readers?

Mayor Papa Bear may bust me for killing birds.

2007-01-19T21:59:00.000-07:00

I'll keep it simple, if you haven't seen Big Papa on the Colbert report, get to youtube.com, find it, and watch. I don't think I've ever seen a man look that constipated that long for an interview. When Colbert presented the picture, I think that was it. In all seriousness, though, readers please pay close attention to this. Liberal, conservative, apathetic, or voodoo priests: listen to the quality of interviews in all genres. Listen to the answers. The ad hominem, quick one-liner attacks are cheap. Why don't I like a lot of the neo-cons, because that's what they've come down to: sound bytes. Kudos Colbert, but please nail Hannity next. That guy needs it the worst in that triumvirate. Oreilly is human: he gets his temper there and he'll show up on the other side's shows. Coulter is an incredibly bad gimmick, but Sean Hannity really needs to lose that glib slick composure. You crack that face, there are tears underneath.

I honestly thought I might have crossed into The Birds today as I drove home. Birds are incredibly stupid. I'm driving along the eastern plains, they're off onto the other side. As I approach the spot that's close to them, but not within harm, they all take flight, directly at my windshield. I heard at least 5 thunks, and have to wonder how in the hell Sylvester never got to eat Tweety. I was told they might see the reflection and therefore need to fly at each other. Yet another reason why we're smarter than the bird. Sometime, try going to a shopping mall, spotting another human being, and then start running at that human full speed. That would be a sight.

Hoping to finally get some more time to spend with the ELL. Teachers sometimes have pretty lousy schedules. Patience will definitely be worth it in this case though.

Football predictions: the Superbowl will be between the Colts and the Saints. This is going to be the year that the Colts hurdle past the Patriots. On paper and in theory, most everything goes to the Pats. I just have a feeling: Peyton is due for a big game. The Bears defense is far too banged up (if Seattle was able to expose them) and just didn't look impressive. Again, I know it's in Chicago, but I've got a feeling about New Orleans. It's Friday, I definitely need some shut eye.

THIS ROUND GOES TO MIKEY!

2007-01-18T11:19:00.000-07:00

The meeting I had with The Board of Education went much better than expected Tuesday night, although it could very well have turned out disasterous. I gave my presentation, followed by Q&A-- all smooth sailing. Then suddenly I'm hit with three very specific questions about the content of curriculum.

Keep in mind I continued with the Q&A, but the pause button in my mind was pressed and held. Wait a minute, why suddenly are they delving that deep into the curriculum? And how would they know to ask that question....a question that sounds exactly like some of the complaints I got from my staff about policy. It took a couple beats and it soon became clear.

For those that are confused, let me briefly rewind. On countless occasions already, I've reminded the staff of a specific policy of returning to grammar, specifically stating, "If they fail this year, it's not their failure-- it's ours."

So here's the conclusion I processed and leapt to (all while answering the questions as calmly as I can). Somebody on my staff (at least) is worried about keeping his/her job. To protect him/herself, that person contacted a friend: a friend on the Board and gave a biased version of my policy, along with feeding that Board member questions to trip me up.

Ok, we're out of the past and out of my head. As far as politics goes, I'm on one person's side, mine. But I spent the next half hour taking every single planted and loaded question by explaining my policy as clearly as I could. I'm not good with analyzing data but I've taught for a while and am a writer myself. Long story short, I know I sold the Board and they're behind me now.

How do I know? On Wednesday, I came to work and found a note from 2 board members thanking me for my time and with permission to order more books that I desperately need. They freed up some money to do so. I processed all of this as one woman on my staff approached anxious to see how the meeting went.

Again, I take this all in at once. My staff is pissed that I'm forcing them to teach grammar. And why shouldn't I, since one of my staff wanted my opinion for the opening line of the flyer that read, Dieing to showcase your talent. Anyway, we're not really close, due to age gaps and other reasons, so why the concern? Simple, that's the person that was hoping it wouldn't go well, but isn't sure since she didn't hear from her friend. In fact, I'm willing to bet that inside that folder is her replacement policy for mine.

Once more, I must emphasize the need for all of you readers to play poker, for no other reason to work on your poker face. I composed myself and told her how it went and about the money I received. Then I held out my hand and asked, "Are those the grants we've been working on? [pointing to the folder]" I never did find out if it was the policy, but I'm sure it wasn't a love letter.

So yes I should be happy that the Board is supporting me, but wow has the bullet sign grown on me! Isn't it somewhat cynical that I can see through all the underhanded politics so quickly? I could be bothered by that, but I'm determined to win this: to get these farmers' kids reading and writing and interested in education. The last week has been a good teaching week here, but on the high school level, consistency is the hardest to maintain. I'm going to ride the hell out of this wave....

Card Tips 101

2007-01-15T22:34:00.000-07:00

This one is mostly for poker, but can be applied to any game where a player holds hidden cards, and there are cards showing. Whenever you play these hands, always watch the other person even more than your own cards. A person with a bad hand almost always makes the same mistake. Whenever they get a bad hand, they'll peek at their cards over and over again with quick rapid glances. The reason? They're trying to find some new possiblity to use their cards that they might have looked over the first time around. If they're trying to find new possiblilities, it means they have a lousy hand. A lot of poker players will tell you, it doesn't matter what you have in your hand, play your opponent. These guys are full of crap, and are probably either in hock to a loan shark, or begging mom and dad to lower the basement rent for a month until they can scrape the money together. Poker is about presenting your hand the best that you can, if you don't have the cards you won't win beyond that fluke lucky hand. But any insight you have into your opponent will turn those close hands into your favor-- it's a guarantee.

Why the poker post? Because poker and life share the same attribute in the sense that you have to be able to read who you're up against. Tomorrow I present in front of the board my plan for cleaning up the gigantic writing mess at the school. These are people who are into politics over education, don't let even small town ideology fool you. We live in a data driven, accountability based educational society. I'm not there to discuss their data. But you can sure as hell bet that they'll be looking at those printouts crammed full of data right before they ask each question, meaning they're looking for data to point out any flaws in what I outline-- any possibilities. But for me, I know my hand (my teaching style). It's simple: I break things down to what makes sense using the same terminology that's on the data.

Thanks to all the readers that have posted thus far, spread the word. Worse comes to worse, you all might become better poker players....

The Friendship Talk

2007-01-14T20:09:00.000-07:00

Every guy hates that talk and the line, "I just want to be friends." In this case, though, I'm angry about it, mostly because it didn't happen to me, it happened to my best friend.
My closest friend is trying his best just to get back in the game. He's had unbearable physical problems over the last ten years and can't do what most of us take for granted every day from going to the movies at whim to carry the groceries inside. But he's remarkable in his attitude and is easily the most likeable person I know of. So he moved to D.C. and is doing well. He's tried speed dating and the match.com thing, but lately he's just getting burned left and right.
I was proud of him, though, in how he handled it. When he got the line, "Let's just keep it as friends," he called the girl out on it. He wanted to know what she would still like to do "as friends" at least so she'd be honest with him. To all guys out there, do that, when you're given a line, call the girl on it. In those cases, the girl is insecure, indecisive, and is going to catch that full circle in the end.
I gave my friend the right advice, though. He started questioning himself, wondering if it was wrong to be "the nice guy." It's very simple to all the guys out there: women (at least the quality ones) want the nice guy. If you are the nice guy, you're in the right spot and you need to be patient. Don't be something you're not. Yes sometimes it looks like the so-called "bad boys" get the women. Trust me, you want them to have those women. I think he's back up on his feet, though, and I know he's going to find that somebody.
But I digress. This message is also for my women readers: if you're not into the guy, be honest. A few weeks ago I had that exact situation happen to me. She wasn't interested, said so, and that was that. I appreciated that: went down to the Taj and had a great night but without bearing any ill will. She's still a friend of mine, and that's the way this whole thing is supposed to work. During that same week, I ran into a stripper (no, not while she was working) in Atlantic City that I dated in college. She's still stripping and is in love with a guy that checks her cell phone every night to make sure he knows all the calls. Some might laugh, I think it's kind of sad.
And so Mikey has concluded that this is one of the main reasons why we have a 50% divorce rate. The fundamental nuts are all parading around trying to protect that institution from the "deliciously decadent, sinful" homosexual community, yet most people end up unhappy because they end up settling for someone they're not happy with. Again, just be honest.
On the positive side of things, I'm finally going to get some overdue time spent with a certain ELL (don't ask, I just know the term took over for ESL [and that's English as a Second Language]) teacher that I've been looking forward to for quite a while. I found tonight that she's into skiing (major plus) will drink beer (very nice) and is about as sarcastic as I am (yes!) Things are going to work out well here.
C'mon now, did you really think I was going to end a post like that? Do I sound like I spend nights watching the O.C? No way, I'm going out swinging. I'm gearing myself up for a confrontation with the head honcho of my teaching certification program. He's a bureaucrat (took way too long to remember it's bu, not be in spelling that) and I'm a teacher: the standard admin. vs. educator battle. I'm pledging now that I'm going to handle this for once without getting myself into trouble. Must stay true to that.....
And last but not least, I'm stealing this from blogger, Betty Lou, who was the catalyst behind the Mikey Songero's life to go blog. Recent movies to recommend. With all the snow we've had lately, I've dusted off and watched some absolutely must sees. If you haven't seen them, watch A Bronx Tale and Rudy again next time you get the chance. Those two have got it all and fall into the real classic category: no hype, just movies you can always revisit. Until next time.

The funniest commercial alive!

2007-01-13T17:02:00.000-07:00

I was waiting for a friend to come over last night and I flipped on the TV to see if I could catch any ball game that was on. As I flipped through, I stopped and couldn't help myself-- for some reason I couldn't stop laughing. It was Time-Life's Christian rock compilation up for grabs. Never mind the wimpy and fruity music that patterned itself from the Monster Ballads of the 80's, it was just the commercial. Try to imagine rows and rows of teenagers at a concert with dopey smiles on their faces, eyes closed, hands waving in the air as they all collectively lip sync to that really bad music. Sound like any concert any of you readers ever been to? Maybe I was just in a goofy mood, but I couldn't stop laughing-- I wish I had taped that commercial. At the same time, it begs a very tough philosophical question: what is more tortuous to listen to country music or Christian Rock?

2007-01-12T20:36:00.000-07:00

Snow, snow, and more snow. The other day I was talking to my father and I was trying to explain to him that I might not be able to go skiing because there's too much snow( if the passes are closed). Sounds pretty dumb, doesn't it?
I'm finding myself in a tough situation this coming week. I've got to go before the board of the school I teach at, and explain to them what I'm doing about the CSAP scores in writing. Let me be honest here. I don't think about the CSAP at all, I don't care about it. I think standardized tests are the downfall of education. Yet here I am, in charge of an English department, preparing a presentation based on data that will hopefully make the board happy. I will give them the data, etc. etc., and then I will scrap everything in the presentation.
Wouldn't it be much easier if I just told them the truth? The test is geared to have students write a 5 paragraph essay, something that has no pratical use in the real world. There's a part of me that wants to walk in there, say just that and explain what it is that I'm trying to do with these kids. But for the first time in my very young teaching career, I've got to play educational politics. Down the road, I may need the board on my side so I've got to give them what they want. Anyone that has some sage like advice, lay it on me.
So that'll be on my mind this weekend. Hoping to recover from a pulled hamstring, hoping to meet up with someone that's been put off for too long. Then again, as I type, the snow keeps falling. Who knows, but it should be an interesting few days....

Welcome to the life!

2007-01-10T20:02:00.000-07:00

Welcome to the life, to the experiment. It's time to share my thoughts and adventures with the rest of the world; and who knows, maybe I'll get a few laughs and thoughts out of you in the process. It's not every day you meet a former degenerate gambler, ex-circus clown, previous pit boss, retired tennis athlete, turned language arts instructor. The life is a constant dichotomy: someone from the megaopolis working as far in the country as you can get. I found myself facing some tough questions from my students today. Because they know I've written a book about the Mafia and because I made a couple of bad comments about the ability of Denver Broncos cornerback Williams, I've become a suspect in his killing. The rationale: a limo was found in the airport and I WENT to the airport over vacation. Don't worry, though, it really wasn't me.

Still, though, sometimes stereotypes can work in your favor. Maybe I've started to scare my students. That would be a funny try some time. One day when they've upset me, I'll put the Godfather score on and talk in a low, hoarse voice. Then again, maybe not, they probably won't get the reference. High school kids make 30 seem old sometimes. The other day I had to explain who Axl Rose was and there's more to Ozzy than a family TV show.

Feels good to be home after a visit to the family in NJ. I'm looking forward to getting the blog going and hearing from some people in return. Until next time, -Mike Songero