In need of real Italian food!

Don't get me wrong, I love living out in Colorado, but one of the biggest drawbacks is that the Italian food out here sucks. Most people out here seem to think that Maggiano's or the Olive Garden is authentic Italian, when a better comparison would be that those two places are the McDonald's of Italian. I do know about Carmine's, which is very good, but otherwise I'm SOL on that. So I'm asking my readers, if you know anyplace, let me know. I'm craving some veal parmesean, scallopini-- a place where they serve romano with you food instead of shakable grated parmasean. It's definitely not like the food I grew up on!

Good news?

I found out last night that my contract has been renewed. However, I'm not really sure how I feel about it. There have been comments about my distance (physical and otherwise) and that it's becoming a problem. My problem with that is that it's not job-related in any way. I like my distance because I really don't like the people I work with. This is my job: I come, I do my very best and work my very hardest, I leave. It's that simple. I'll never be a part of this community.

So now I'm really thinking about quite a bit. Should I renew my contract here? I don't like to quit something I've started, but as my readers know, I don't like it here. So my options right now are to stay, to find a surrounding school, to go teach high school in the city, to go back to the adjunct thing, or just to get the hell out of teaching for a while. Wouldn't it be nice to rely on my writing for once?

One thing that I'm sure about is that I want my PhD. I plan on going to Stanford, and I want my PhD from there. That's the plan for 2008-2009. So, I'm actually asking for feedback for once. Readers, what do you think? Any advice for this next year? Is this place worth coming back to?

The plate is getting pretty full....

This month, along with the end of November, are the worst times of the year for me. The work just piles up, and like a light bulb blazing on, everyone decides they want to do better in school. So here's all the jumble that's going on in my mind. I'm building the brand new English program almost completely from scratch without any help. I have stacks and stacks of papers that I need to give direction to my students on. I also have to complete all my license material, something I haven't really taken seriously all year. I still don't take care about it, because I don't plan on staying in a high school very long. On the other hand, I'm still rushing to cover my curriculum in my college class at ACC, a class that has yet to impress me overall. I'm putting in 12-15 hr. days and I'm exhausted. This has left me very little to spend at the gym or for my writing. The new book, Lost in Tumbleweed, is stalled probably until the summer when I get more time. I've been reading like crazy to complete as much material as I can for the first year exams at Stanford. And I'm studying for the GRE to get my scores up. I'm also working on three academic essays, a personal essay, and other writing projects. Socially, I've hardly seen many of my friends over the last few weeks. I'm kind of bummed that ski season is over. I've met a very special someone in my life that I'm not sure what to do about. More than anything, I value her friendship, and will not sacrifice that for anything. But that's a whole other story.

That's just what's on my plate, though. As busy as I am, things aren't all that bad. School is over in less than a month. As crazy as it seems, things are slowly turning the corner at the school. I actually believe that I can solve the problems here, or a number of them. I'm writing more, and I've been patient with the above mentioned person, and I think she feels the same as I do. More than anything else, what I need right now is rest: plain and simple. When I can, I will....

Good Friday has became great!

It's very simple, I don't have to work tomorrow. In the meanwhile, I'm sitting in on a budget meeting where I raised more than half of the money. This ought to be good since I already know what I'm planning on doing with my money. If you read this soon and have any advice for handling these people without ridiculing them, let me know. Otherwise, I've got to sign off for the time being. Hopefully, I can come back to this later. Maybe, I'll have time to ski instead....that sounds good!

Justifying a Decision

I always get in this position right before I end up changing my life in a complicated way. The problem is always the same, I end up wanting more or wanting to do more than what my life consists of at the moment. Once that moment hits, it's like rolling downhill. I take steps, I take measures, and before even I know it, I'm gone-- relocated to a whole new place where I start my life in a new direction.

This time it feels different, though. For years and years, all I ever talked about was picking up and leaving the East Coast. The destination was always clear, Colorado. No matter what, I would always end up having a life in Colorado. Now I want to leave again. With very few exceptions, I'm bored and disappointed with most of my friends. Don't get me wrong, that's not being negative, it's just that I'm looking for other things to do.

Profesionally, as I've stated, life couldn't get much worse. The real problem is that I don't enjoy my job at all. I don't look forward to seeing the kids, I don't belong in a high school setting. And, this, more than anything else, is what's making me shoot for that doctorate and a new life. Ok, I've got to drop it there, I don't want to go down that tangent anymore.

For some reason, though, the decision is harder than I thought. I like all of my friends here. I hate dropping things before they're finished. Even as much as I despise my job, I hate leaving before I fixed it. It leaves a bad taste in my mouth. So here I am, sure but not sure. Of course, I have to wait another year to see if I'm accepted to Stanford, but I'm wondering is this what I really want?