Getting back into the publishing groove

I've been thinking about a new publishing format. I'm going to see-saw my fiction with some academic writing. One story, followed by an academic subject. So, the story first. The new book, LOST IN TUMBLEWEED, is starting to map itself out neatly and smoothly in my mind. I'm about 3/4 of the way finished with the back story of the main character. To test it out, I think what I'm going to do next is nutshell a lot of that backstory and turn it into a short story. From there, I might send it out to one of those novice publications that provides feeback. Along with that, I need to also send it out for some contests. As for the first academic article, I'm flirting with writing about either blogs, or something about purpose and audience. At this point, I'm unsure.

Never thought I'd say this, but I'm getting antsy and impatient here in Colorado. California is calling to me in more ways than one, and that's next on the agenda, followed hopefully by a PhD, and maybe a couple of years in Europe. Maybe all of this is just random talk, I don't know, but I'll see over time. I think a lot of this has been my environment lately. As I'm continuously surrounded by unmotivated people and I feel that little rub of apathy, I get frustrated and alarmed at the same time. No chance in hell I'd ever let that happen to me, so I take as many as steps as possible to separate myself from them. Wish me luck!

Tempting Fate

Things are getting worse at the current job. The hardest part of my job, without any question, is teaching to the completely unmotivated. It's not just my class, either; as I walk the halls, I see that glazed dull look of the students' faces. And it's not from a lack of challenge primarily, it's from having to do work. This is the problem with my college satellite classes. They're not really college classes, they're high school kids, not yet ready for college classes. So I have to find some kind of middle ground that actually teaches. It's baby step after baby step, something I get sick of explaining when outside observers decide to "drop by."

Anyway, I've got to stop. Like I said, I'm going to start focusing on my own future, the rules be damned. I've tried to play by the schools' practices, but they've failed. Starting now, I'm calling all the shots for what I do. I have my own plans for the future, so I've got to cram as quickly as possible if I'm going to fix this place before I go. My main observation is that it's getting harder, but simultaneously clearer that it's time for me to start leading the way. The other departments can either get aboard the train or stay drop back and fail.

The Road Begins

So, I've talked about the plan, Stanford University. This is going to be a long hard road, one that's going to take up the next year of my life. Stanford is considered to be the best and the competition is intense. Out of about 350 applications, they only accept 10 student per year into that program. And so here is where the road begins: it's time for me to be that package: the best damn package out there. There's a lot of GRE studying and a lot of writing ahead of me.

The road to a better life doesn't live and die with Stanford and with my professional life, though. Right now my body is in extreme pain. But it's the good kind of pain, the pain that comes from every muscle in your body screaming at you after a long hard workout. This goal is going to take a lot of hard months in front of me as well. I have to rebuild and strengthen all the muscles in my back, along with my stomach, to get that back strong again. Two years ago, I brought tennis back into my life-- now it's time to do so again. There's a feeling of relaxation out on that tennis court that I've yet to find in any other activity, skiing included. Tennis is my physical meditation. Losing it once changed my life completely, losing it twice left just as big a void. So, the road widens, more obstacles are set in place, but I'm enjoying the ride.

Epiphany and dedication

The need for change has been building like a fire inside of me, and I'm understanding why now I think. Let me put it simply: I'm fucking bored with my life. Things are becoming a routine. I've always loved impossible, unwinnable situations, that I usually end up winning. So, instead of griping about it, I've decided to do something about it. I unofficially put my notice in today at my job, it's time to move forward and beyond it. So what's next? I've decided to go and get my PhD from Stanford, yes that's right, Stanford. Mikey is planning a move to Californ-i-a in the future. I want to go to an elite school, not a school, but one of the best. I'm seeking the next challenge. Step one is getting accepted into Stanford: not exactly an easy task. But what's the worse that can happen, rejection? Rejection is good for the soul, it allows a person to really look at him/herself and think about the next step in life. And this is what I want right now. Tomorrow I go back to work, and I'm not looking forward to it. I truly hate being there, despite all the potential challenges building an English program offers. So bring on Stanford. What do you think readers? Have I gone off my rocker completely, or is this the new chapter to Michael Songero's story? Let me know.

Now, this next part is dedicated to that special someone in my life. We had a long talk today, we learned a great deal more about each other, and that's important. I'm talking to you specifically here. Life is about balance: think of it in the Japanese In and Yo spirits. I know things are hard for you right now. But every single day, you should take time to put things in perspective. Here are some facts that you should keep in mind. First things first, you have a loving family. It's remarkable that you work so hard to unite them, but you will over time. Anyway, they love you and you love them. So many people take this for granted, and you should always remember that love is unbreakable and lasts forever. Secondly, you're an incredibly beautiful person: on both the inside and the outside. Don't ever tell yourself otherwise-- and please don't doubt me. I was shocked to hear you say otherwise Saturday night, and I'm flat out telling you that you're wrong. Next, you told me you feel like you have nothing to offer someone else. Again, you're wrong. Everyone, with absolutely no exception, fails to see what they do have to offer when they feel down. You want a specific example? Here it is: me. Since we've known each other, we've made each other feel much happier. There doesn't need to be reasons-- it's just truth.

While I dedicate this to that special someone, I encourage all my readers to think about this. Life is balance: good and bad, and when you take it all in it's absolutely exciting each and every day.

Starting a new life

I was writing a letter of recommendation for a very special person today, and I was surprised by the feelings it brought up in me. Mostly, this was because I used past letters written about me as a guideline for creating a strong letter. I started looking at myself then and now and obviously there are things that I like and that I don't like, same as everyone. But I've decided to make some very strong, very bold changes in my professional life for the future. I want more, and I want to be more. I'm going to hold back on the specifics for now, mostly because there's a lot of exploring to be done. But I felt it strongly inside of me, some major changes are going to be coming in my life over the next few months, and NOW is the time to get that ball rolling. To be continued....

Out for a few days.....

My cousin from Staten Island has arrived to visit and to do some skiing. Skis got lost and haven't arrived yet, but we're trying to keep our spirits up. We're heading up to the mountains anyway: time for some skiing and for some fun. So I won't be updating for a few days. But I will plug a couple of people: bettylou and merlicious: one of the nicest, but funniest damn families I've ever met. Merlicious works hard to justify living by a list, and bettylou is doing well with coming out of her shy shell. Readers read their blogs-- it's good times. See you all in a few days.

My moustache.....

Not since Dumb & Dumber have I laughed as hard as I did watching Borat, in fact I have to pause from time to time here because I'm still laughing my ass off. The part where he starts singing the national anthem at the rodeo is definitely the best. If you haven't, go rent or just buy Borat.

Tomorrow is the Persian New Year. Actually, that information might not be 100% correct, I do know that Persians celebrate the new year for 13 days. I'm amazed how it brings out such a sense of cultural community with those that I know who celebrate it. There's oodles that I don't know about the Persian culture that I've decide to learn about. One very special person in my life has been doing so with great care and patience....

The Evil Doctor's book should be out this month. I'm thinking about buying a bunch of copies, for no other reason than to just pour them all over the offices of people that need to read them. Blogging is important, for more than just my random thoughts and the random thoughts of others I see out there. But I promise you all I won't be jumping back on my educational soapbox for the rest of the week at least!

Tomorrow I pick up my cousin who's spending a few days out here, who I'm hoping gets to meet my the woman I've been talking about constantly on here, the one who I'm not sure is reading this blog or not. Anyway, I think Larry is going to help me cap off this ski season which has been absolutely incredible. I'm skiing much stronger now than I have in years, and hope I get the opportunity to do so. The good news also came from Merlicious. Even if I move to CA, Lake Tahoe won't be too far away: but it's way too early still to be talking about that possiblilty. I've got enough on my own plate right now....

Getting back to the blog

Restless night, can't seem to make my eyes close. Plus, I've neglected my blog for far too long. As much as I've been in love with Colorado, the signs in my life are now indicating California very strongly for me. Let's get the obvious out of the way first, a job opportunity has come along that I simply can't ignore. If I get this teaching gig, I'm moving and leaving Colorado behind. My career has plateaued and I'm beginning to get bored with the routine I've noticed myself falling into.

On the other hand, there's another important reason I may be going. I've met someone, someone so incredibly special that I'm in a whirlwind of emotion. There's absolutely no doubt about it, she's the girl anyone would dream of having: stunningly beautiful, intelligent, ambitious, honest, and incredibly kind. But our relationship is complex, and on the surface may even seem problematic. However, she is amazing. Instead of letting things get overly complicated, and even to the point of falling apart, she sat me down and we talked through everything. Everything that I had to say was said for me, she was thinking and speaking every thought that was going through my mind.

So on a personal level, things could absolutely not be any better. I've met someone that I'm going to build something with slowly, piece by piece, one day at a time. I've met someone that I truly know that I can trust. But I do have my fears: mainly my professional life. My professional life is a slowly building train wreck-- one disaster after the next, the kind that threatens to spill over into my personal time. I'm fighting like crazy to prevent that: skiing, time with friends, etc., but this time of year is just pressure, pressure, and more pressure. I've moved before, and I've let my career overshadow everything else: it has been my driving force. But not this time: I've reached that point in my life where my personal life needs to be protected. Those that I care about will not have be stepping in my career messes. And this time I will not make the same mistakes and poor choices I made before.... Cryptic I know, but it's a long story that I don't have the time to tell this evening.